


Fresh Balls 1

by cheshirejin



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender, Bleach, Eyeshield 21, InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale, Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Gen, Multiple Crossovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-27
Updated: 2012-04-27
Packaged: 2017-11-06 07:59:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/416563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheshirejin/pseuds/cheshirejin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shooting a commercial is never easy, but what if it were a commercial series for a certain new body care product, and the actors were some of my favorite anime characters?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fresh Balls 1

Vexed and Kat are to blame for this.

Fresh balls Commercial series part one

By Cheshirejin

This is a series of commercials for a new male personal care product that actually exists on the market.  
I want all of my friends who read this to write their own commercial and send me links!

Consider it a meme if you must.  
Enjoy :D  
  


 “Hello there my name is Keigo Asano and I will be directing today’s commercial shoot. The agency has recommended you highly for the job and it will be a pleasure working with you. That is Mizuru Kojima behind the camera. So, let’s start right in.”

“Fresh Balls commercial take one."  
"Action!.”

“I am Lord Sesshoumaru, and this is my vassal Jaken. Upon reading this script I would rather have Jaken take my place for this project. Jaken, act.”

“Yes Lord Sesshoumaru,” he turns toward camera, “When I get a little warm and wet between my legs…”

“Cut!”

“Uhm, Sesshoumaru,

“Lord Sesshoumaru to you, worthless human.”

“Uhm okay, “ _diva_ , “Lord Sesshoumaru, I don’t think Jaken has the look we are after for this project, would you buy personal care products he recommends?”

“No, I see your point,” Sesshoumaru said as he took the stage facing the camera.

“Action!”

“ I have no use for this product, but if I were to I would find it to be acceptable.”

“Cut! “

“Lord Sesshoumaru, I think that having ‘no use for this product’ doesn’t exude confidence in it,” Keigo started trying to explain only to be interrupted by Jaken.

“But he is Sesshoumaru, he controls everything in his domain, even his balls don’t sweat without his say so.”

“Well, _really?_ Is there any other way you can convince people to buy the product?” Keigo asked, starting to get a little frustrated with the whole shoot.

“Yes, I can think of one.”

“Okay, Action!”

Sesshoumaru held the product packaging toward the camera and fixed Mizuru with his most intimidating look. After about thirty seconds Mizuru steps from behind the camera on shaky knees promising he will be right back, and he is going out to buy a tube right now.

“Ok that’s a wrap,.” Keigo said. This ad campaign might just work after all.

“Hello there my name is Keigo Asano and I will be directing today’s commercial shoot. The agency has recommended you highly for the job and it will be a pleasure working with you. That is Mizuru Kojima behind the camera. So, let’s start right in.”

“Hello I am Grell Sutcliff, and I am thrilled to be working with you. This is an interesting town you live in, nice weather, warm. Have you heard of any strange happenings around here?”

“Nice to meet you, can’t say, nothing beyond the ordinary I can think of. Why do you ask?”

“Well it doesn’t matter, I was asked to look for something odd, there were rumors around the place I work that something big was happening here recently, but perhaps they were just that, rumors. So, are you ready to shoot this thing?”

“Whenever you are… Action!”

Grell flipped his long read hair back and flirted with the camera with his bright yellow green eyes peeking over his red rimmed glasses, while holding the tube of Fresh Balls next to his cheek. Putting on his best sexy pout he layed on the charm and said “Everyone likes it better when you are fresh. If you use this, I might consider being attracted to you,” he finished with a wide, shark toothed grin.

“Cut!”

“Thank you Mr…Ms… Grell that was great,”

“I know it was. Now I am off, people to do and things to see and all.. ta taa.”

“Hello there my name is Keigo Asano and I will be directing today’s commercial shoot. The agency has recommended you highly for the job and it will be a pleasure working with you. That is Mizuru Kojima behind the camera. So, let’s start right in.”

A blond guy with spiky blond hair walked in, he has an evil aura about him not helped at all by the long pointed ears that were pierced multiple times and sharp teeth that reminded Keigo a little too much of  Grell’s.

“Youichi Hiruma, I wouldn’t be here but funding for our football team got cut again this year and we seriously need the money.” The guy introduced himself, chewing on some gum and blowing a bubble as if it were a habit.

 _I have got to find a different agency_. “All right, so let’s see what you have got. Look into the camera and give it your best shot when you are ready.”

“Action!”

“I am the captain of the Daemon Devilbats football team. Being into sports I know all about the unpleasant side effects of hard work, namely sweat.” Hiruma then taook out a little red book and flipped through it. “According to my sources the following people could use this especially; Ichiro ‘batwings’ Takami, Seijuro ‘stay off my running back’ Shin, Agon ‘smells like the trash he calls everyone else’ Kongo,  Kengo ‘does anyone smell fish?’ Mizumachi, and Shien ‘I smell the bullshit from here’ Mushanokoji. Ya ha!”

“Cut!”

“Hiruma, I don’t think we can use that without being sued for slander or liable or something. The only way would be if you were to get…” Keigo was stopped short as Hiruma waved a fistful of papers in his face.

“Waivers, signed and legal for each of the people I named,” he said reading the name as he handed each to the director. “Takami, Shin, , Agon, Mizumachi, Shien, Sakuraba, oh wait that last one is for something else,” he finished retrieving the last paper before turning to walk away. “Send the check to Daemon high school in my name.”

“Hello there my name is Keigo Asano and I will be directing today’s commercial shoot. The agency has recommended you highly for the job and it will be a pleasure working with you. That is Mizuru Kojima behind the camera. So, let’s start right in.”

“Pleased to meet you, I am Uryuu Ishida,” said the tall, lanky raven haired boy as he adjusted his eyeglasses. He was wearing some sort of odd white costume, embellished with light blue crosses here and there, but other than that he looked like a typical high school student. “I am beginning to think I was sent here by my friend as some sort of practical joke, but I will do my best.” _Kurosaki you bastard!_

“Ok, whenever you are ready, Action!”

Sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose he shook his head before squaring his shoulders and looking at the camera, Uryuu began “I take my personal grooming very seriously and only the best products will touch this body. Imported shampoo from Swiss herbologysts, the finest English bath cubes, handmade goats milk soap and this, Fresh Balls, because it is the best, safe for your nether regions antiperspirant on the market and I refuse to chafe.” He stopped at this point and looked out the window at absolutely nothing before vanishing from sight, not walking out, just vanishing as if he were never there.

“Cut!” _I hate it when he does that_.

“Hello there my name is Keigo Asano and I will be directing today’s commercial shoot. The agency has recommended you highly for the job and it will be a pleasure working with you. That is Mizuru Kojima behind the camera. So, let’s start right in.”

“All right, Zuko, you know your lines.” _Behave yourself._

“Yes Uncle.” _I am going to kill you for this._

“Action!”

“Uncle Iroh, have you ever had days when things get a little less than comfortable, what with all of the heat from firebending and everything?” _Yes, Uncle I want to hear all about your old sweat soaked balls._

“Not anymore, I use this, Fresh Balls and it keeps this old man feeling comfortable and confident all day.” _Good, so far he is behaving._

“Really? Sounds good, but how does it work?”  _Oh lord why are we doing this? Do we really need money that badly?_

“It is a simple, fresh smelling cream that is applied to the region where perspiration and heat could cause chafing on men.” _Just a little more Zuko._

“Thank you so much for telling me about this.” _Gag, puke._

“You are very welcome.” _Well done Zuko_.

“Cut!”

_Maybe imitating an old feminine protection commercial wasn’t the best way to present this product._

  
  



End file.
